I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I love having hate sex.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize