PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
