my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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