I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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