I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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