We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
