I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
