omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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