I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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