The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Send help, water and tortillas.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
