Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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