Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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