For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
