If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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