So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Come share oat with me in your robe
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
