my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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