What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You were trust falling into bushes
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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