Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you would pick up someone in the library
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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