Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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