are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
