I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
