$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
