it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Your cock deserves a montage
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
