If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
