tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
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