i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
