I molested 6 butterflies tonight
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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