I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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