I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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