I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
