can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
