And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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