On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Randomize
