so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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