Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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