wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
