she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
