I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
