are you so shy because you have an std?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
