found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
