when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
