If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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