I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize