i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
