Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
i've created a new STD.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
