I think my vagina is haunted
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
