The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
