That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
