it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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