Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
