he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
