She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
