If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
