your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
