i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
