He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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