Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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