he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
