the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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