Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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