I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
