Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
