tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize