guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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